Hidden place to be myself.

I never post so I figure this can be a good place to vent my feelings at the moment. Right now I'm feeling like I've been completely let down. I thought I had something in my life that was incredible and couldn't be touched. Well I was wrong once again. Apparently I'm not that lucky. Turns out I am just like everyone else in this world and I have to deal with disappointment. Tonight my disappointment is in myself. And in my partner but I'm trying to be the bigger person here and claim the responsibility for things going to crap. I am a dreamer. I am a planning, itinerary, organization loving freak! I like to speculate how things are going to turn out and I like to dream about my future home and life and accomplishment. Big and small. This is something that no guy I've ever dated has liked about me. I'm not trying to say that everything I want has to become a reality, but it will come into my life in some form or another. Let's say I want to have an all blue kitchen. I saw a picture of a kitchen in a magazine when I was like 14 and I LOVED this kitchen. I even cut it out and out it in a time capsule somewhere. At the time I probably didn't have any room for someone else's opinion on having a blue kitchen. Now having lived in a few places I realize having a completely blue kitchen would be a little bit dramatic and I've changed a lot of my ideas. What I'm trying to say is when I get an idea in my head it may seem at first that I set my ideas in stone. But I have learn a lot about compromise and that building something with someone is a lot more fun than doing it on your own. What do you do when the person you feel like you're supposed to love the most starts to make you feel like you're not good enough? unfortunately I know the answer to that question. I hope this ins't the case in this situation but I'm getting tired of apologizing for being myself. I'm a strong, stubborn, opinionated, controlling, moody, passionate, organization loving, planning obsessed dreamer! I love myself and everything about me. If you don't then beat it! and quit trying to change me or squash my dreams. I'm over it!

a new found fun thing to do!

rabbit trails on blogs! one of my new favorite things to do. I just added a few of my favorite blogs from Janel's favorites over to mine. I love clicking on someone I love to read and look at and then picking a new one from their favorite list, and so on and so forth. I'm hoping by doing this and raving about it on Facebook to some of my friends I can spread this little joy. I know a lot of you already do this but hey! I've been on an Island for five years! I was not in the "loop" :) So to my Hawaii friends that I'm sending this out to I hope you are inspired to be creative as I know most of you already are and desire to be more! Love you!

And here are some things that my inspiring sister Janel has made. I hope to follow in her footsteps and get some of these skills to rub off on me :)

Apron making skills,

Cake pop making skills,

(if you'd like to know what cake pops are, well let me tell you! delicious balls of cake and frosting rolled into balls and covered with delicious chocolate and decorated to cuteness perfection!)

Cake decorating skills!

more cake decorating skills!

and yes Pie making skills! those are mini cherry pies on sticks! What the!

She also has rediculous amounts of other skills such as making gourmet popcorn, she does hair and she sings and loves her 5 kids to the ends of the earth! Man this blog has turned into how much I love my sister! haha, not hard to do though :) But once you log on to my blog you can check out her blog as well. See we're back to where we started, rabbit trails! So much fun, but make sure you've got a few minutes, or hours. :)

the count down

So the count down begins, beginning with 19 days. Being that I'm less than a month and starting to ACTUALLY feel like I can't stand this anymore I figured I'm "allowed" to start counting down. Any sooner would have been too painful. I'm ready. done, stick a fork in me, DING! Janel and I went to a birthing class this morning and I was the farthest along out of everyone!!! I almost felt bad for the girls that were like 25 weeks. But I honestly can't believe how fast it all really has gone by.

So this is me between 16-20ish weeks. I was feeling like a cow! hahaha. But I was feeling the little flutterings and small moves. And I was going somewhere with this but I literally just forgot what I was about to write! I'm getting really tired of these brainfart moments. It was something about eating or being with friends. Obviously you can tell by the background I was in Hawaii. and I miss it and som many people so much. I'm waiting for some beachfront property to magically come into my life! i need to have some ocean!

I mean come on! don't you wanna see this in a bikini all the time! Especially now with my stretch marks and wide booty?! I know someone who wouldn't mind :) haha. I know I do have a little bump here but it's nothing compaired to now! I remember this day with Tara. it was one of my last weeks before I moved so I was always soaking up the sun. I can't believe what a slacker I've been on my tan this summer! I know I don't have a pool but Janel's neighbor said come over any time! I think during these last two weeks I'm really gonna try to take advantage of the pool.

This is at about 25 weeks I believe. I'm now living at Janels and getting a little bigger from all the delicious food we cook and all the parties Janel is CONSTANTLY planning and throwing for people. But i love having an excuse to eat all the goodies. I was kinda worried about getting diabetes but I'm all good, had my glucose test like three weeks ago and I'm good to go! But I'm sooooo greatful to be living at the Lamb's and I love having all my things put away and my cute things out that I've bought in Bali and Korea and I love having all my little memories out to see!

Janel and I did scrubs one day out at the pool and it was so nice to do a spa treatment and relax. And I'm getting a little bigger, around 30 weeks at this point.

And Janel did my hair all cute and light again for my shower, Love it! I think I'm 32 weeks here.

Katies Birthday party very fun! it's cool to know that Killian and little Jeeter will only be a month apart and hopefully we'll live a bit closer that San Tan Valley/Flagstaff. I'd prefer down the street. and that goes for everyone! we should all live down the street from eachother! I really want our old house back. If I could magically one day come into the money and Dana would no longer exist then maybe one day my dream will come true! haha.

For a fun little summer get away we went to Las Vegas and I actually got to see the Bellagio Fountains this time! Kinda missed them last time. or maybe didn't notice they were going off. :)

And here's the little one. I got an unltra sound at 8weeks in CO but I didn't look at it. I was too freaked out. Then my one from 16weeks was just too hard to see. I'm not good at seeing what's there I guess. But this one was around 35 weeks and you can clearly see his little hand here and I think to the left of that is a shot up his nose. I think! not sure. But the doc said he looks VERY well fed and healthy and brain and heart look good so I'm not planning on anything but a healthy baby boy to arrive in two weeks.

This is my favorite. I actually get a little glimpse. even though I think his nose looks smooshed against something. but I love his lips and little chin and chubby cheeks! He's gonna be adorable. Killian Jax DeRusha, ah, I can't wait to meet you. and you really need to hurry up cause I'm getting anxious! But I'm sure you'll be here soon enough. I'm not gonna rush you. I'm so excited to lay you on your little bed and put you in all your cute clothes and wash you and sing to you and be your mom. I can't believe that I'm actually gonna be a mom. It still hasn't totally registered I guess. But now that I've start this "count down" I had better get used to the idea. I really can't wait honestly, I think I'll be pretty darn good at it. I've had amazing examples to watch and learn from. I am so lucky to have wonderful women and men to seek advice and wisdom from no matter what. And I'm so thinkful for all the experiences in my life that had molded me into who I am today. I'm definitley a blessed daughter of God. And I'm glad I'm home.

Memories and Plans (some)

I think I left off on the last blog with getting to AZ. I'm back in AZ now... happy, sad? happy, sad? I'm definitely more happy. Happier because I'm with family, who are all very cool people, interesting, eclectic, and inspiring. Sad because I do miss all my "second" family from Hawaii. My girls. Kaili, Tara L., Jen, Tara P., Kimmie, Maygan, Jenny, Janice, all my Spa Luana girls and Turtle Bay family. I do miss going into work at T-bay. Some times I just get sad remembering driving into work in my fun little car blasting Techno and dance music singing at the top of my lungs. Loving everything about life, how beautiful Hawaii was everyday, green trees, colorful flowers, blue skies and sparkling ocean water. And pulling up to the booth and saying hi to all the Aloha greeters. Ahhhh, such fun times. I really enjoyed being able to go surf for an hour or two before going into work too, nothing like a little ocean water to balance you out before a day of giving massages to a bunch of rich ungreatful snobs (some of the time) mostly they weren't too bad. the big "groups" like AIG were the WORST! bunch of ungreatful theives! haha. The best part of closing the Spa was playing after ;) Steam rooms, waxing, makeup, painting toenails! hehe. Hey! When your boss tells you you can't leave because you're the only female therapist even though you have no appointments, what are we supposed to do! I usually clocked out. Anyways, I hope I don't get in trouble for that...
Hawaii was a great place for me to get to grow up and learn a lot about myself and who I am. I learned who I definitely DIDN'T want to be... thank you Kaili... and I gained experience with good friends and most of all I had my first love. Super long story, but man did that boy put up with a lot. He still does. Bopper will always be the biggest part of my growing up journey.
What else... I learned about being healthy, through healthy eating(some organic and raw), (and there was some bad eating too) Like the time Kaili and I went to my house and ate every peice of fruit we could find with frutia dipping chocolate! like three jars of it!) workouts with Tara, kickboxing, Bobby's class on thursdays, yoga, "stress" relief with Jen, :) and all sorts of things. Really it was just nice to get to have all those years to just worry about me. Just me being my only responsibility. My selfish years. Cause now it's no longer about me alone anymore. yay! Once I get the little guy here we'll get settled back into a good routine, get some cash inflow going and go from there.
Some future plans definitely include going to Costa Rica. I really want to go work at Kelea Surf Spa there. and maybe even doing it in Hawaii for another Season. we'll see... 1st priority is Killian, if he's not a happy traveler we may have a problem, if he's good then first priority is getting funds to go to all these places. Good thing is they're not total vacations, it's a business trip!
Anyways, those are some of the thoughts in my head. One thing I have been trying to learn is to do things with a little more preparation than in the past, but I still like to be spontaneous! If I meet some amazing guy I'll know he's the one if he's down for all the travels :) otherwise... sorry buddy.

6AM posts...

Okay, alright already, stop buggin' me I'll try this blogging thing again.
Honestly I prefer to write things on facebook to friends individually cause I know who's reading what and I don't upset anybody by things I say. So here is my disclaimer... what I write is what I write. I will never post anything that is intentionally hurtful so if you don't like it then don't read it.
I guess that's my biggest fear with blogging is what are people gonna think about what I write or post or put on here. I've decided to not care and this will just be my little "public journal". Probably mostly for the upcoming months of no sleep, early morning feedings, diaper changes, crying and who knows what. Oh, and one more thing, I'm terrible at spelling, grahamar, run on sentences, punctuation and leaving the Caps Lock on for sentences at a time. I'll do my best but I may just look at it and not change it or not even notice it! but back to what I was saying... Yes I'm having my baby boy in September, Well hopefully august. There are ZERO August birthdays in my family that consists of seven kids and currently eleven grandkids. I'm not positive on extended fam but I think out of eighteen people it seems kinda strange. So I'm gonna shoot for August. and even though it probably won't happen I honestly have had the date set at August 28th in my head since I found out about the little bugger. I'll tell that story another time.
Alot has been going on in my life since my last post which was I think a year ago. I think that last time I wrote I was newly single and was planning my summer vacation around the world. World turned into Bali, and then I threw in some fun stops along the way in Korea to see my brother and meet Sang Mi, and a couple 24hr layovers in Taiwan and Kuala Lumpur so I could get a couple more stamps in the passport and see some quick highlights of the cities. This is where I struggle a bit. I want to put photos up for yall so I need to learn how to throw them inbetween the writing where I want them. Next posts will be individual countries with photos I promise! So then after the most amazing Trip was over and I was back in Hawaii I decided to try a new home. I moved to Colorado Springs. Ugh... not the best choice of my life so far. Hopefully I'll be more prayerful next time and less stubborn. I really hoped things were going to just flow there and they didn't mostly due to my lack of planning and preparation. But had I not gone there I may still be in Hawaii really not going anywhere in life. I love Hawaii but I think it's turned into a place for me to visit. I will always love the time I lived there with all my heart but it changed so much and so fast. It went from a summer vacation with my girls from high school to where I was going to massage school (and never getting to surf) To where I worked my a$$ off to afford rent, where I met my first love and some of the funnest friends I've ever had, to a place that was no longer my 1960's surf poster of Gidget and little grass shacks and pina coladas. It became something else sadly. I always wanted to just have a simple life there but it's almost impossible now with all the people crowding the North Shore and HUGE outragious surf scene, all the dumb pro's that ruin it more than they think they do and way to much drama for my little paradise. I can see going back there in a few years and not even recognizing the place. I'm not saying I don't think it's an amazing place, because it is. I just got caught up in too many things. I would love to do it all over again tomorrow and make some changes but I'll just have to wait. Okay so after the move to Colorado Springs (which I'll post on later) I just wanted to go home. At first I felt that was Hawaii for me. I needed to see my friends and my beaches and get in the ocean to wash the stink and the tears and the heartbreak off from Colorado. Once again I should have had a little more of a plan than I did but I was just happy to back. I had a little job doing massage and I made enough to live on but not enough for rent. Being pregnant I knew I was going to need some help. But I 'm not one to ask for it. I like to do things for myself. always have. So I just struggled and waited to the last minute, got on a plane, made a quick stop in California to see a best friend, and HERE I AM! In Arizona. I am very happy now. But I was scared at first. I feel like my life is back at ground zero. Like I just graduated high school and have nothing! It sucks. But it's part of a necessary pride cycle for me I suppose. I'm still trying to be okay with it. But the best part is that it's been more fun and uplifting and inspiring than I imagined it would be. The last few years in Hawaii I was searching for something, peace, balance, spirituality, knowledge, experience. I don't know. but now that I'm back at my roots, It feels like those things are just a natural part of life. I don't have to look for anything. It's right here. I love my family and they love me more than I realized. Not sure why I ever questioned it. But I know that no matter who I am or what I do they will always be there. Cause I feel the same way about them.
Wow that was a quick recap of the last five years. Believe me a lot more went on in there so I have some memory lane blogging to do. I'm sure there will be time ;)

I love this picture :)

Facebook | Photos of You

Pictures!

I have a ton of photos on my facebook page but since not everyone has a facebook (you should!) I need to keep my blog updated.

this is my friend jeannie she lives in New York.


Tara and I at the Beach
She's my drop dead gorgeous girlfriend, Love her to pieces!!!!
Jen .... me in ten years (maybe) we are like sisters!the very beautiful Kaili
And the most current photo of me. this was like two months ago. I'll take some more.
Not a very flattering picture of any of us :) hahahaHalloween was pretty fun!
And my love who I miss very much in my life :(


Life has been very interesting over the last six months. Went through a break-up that seems like it will never end. Made some amazing friends that will last forever. can't wait to see what the next six months bring on!!!!!! I'm preparing to go to Bali Indonesia which should be amazing. And the Family Reunion in Minneosta!!! yeah!!! I'll try to keep ya posted!

TITLE (not very creative I know)

So, I guess I should update my life a little for all you folks back home. I've been trying to get myself back into really good shape. I wanna beat Digger up in May, (yeah them is fighting words!) Just kidding. I went to a kick boxing class yesterday and I've been doing Yoga a few times a week in class form so it way harder. I've also been walking the beach a lot!!! Lot's more free time lately :) although work has been slow. that's not a good thing for me. but life shouldn't be all about work! I'm enjoying living in paradise instead of missing it because I'm always inside or working. I guess I don;t really have too much to report other than I'm happy and healthy! which is very good. and it's one in the afternoon and I can't type on this blog anymore because I want to go outside. sorry. TTYL!

I LOVE SURFING SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so thankful for my girlfriend Tara who is motivating (and I'm motivating her) to get healthy again and start surfing all the time!!!!! Being single is the bomb!!! I'm thankful for all I learned but I LOVE not being stressed out. :)

Why doesn't enyone come visit Hawaii??

I know that there are a few of you who have but shame on everyone who hasn't made it out to Hawaii while i've lived here for almost 4 YEARS!!!

What's going on?

Well, I am probably the worst blogger ever, I never write or post and I've been bad at making phone calls as well. But here's a mini update, I'm gonna go and write on the family blog in a minute. So I'm trying to be a lot more healthy and fit. I went to an abs class yesterday and I can feel all my obliques and serattus muscles everytime I move. The class is called Bobbies Bodies, She's like a drill sargent she yells at us and startles us so bad sometimes you're scarred she might call out your name if you don't step it up. Bopper and I walked on the beach for a mile and got a nice leg work out in the sand for a bit. So I'm working out! yeah! trying to eat better. It's really hard when your poor and pizza is more affordable than spinach and organic food and . Really I think we are just in a bad eating habit. We need to eat more veggies and less meat. I really try and eat as vegitarian as possible. After ready the book Skinny B***h (censored) I never want to eat unhealthy but it's like I have to re-read it to keep myself in check. But as long as we make good choices everyday that's progress
Oh yeah I got my hair cut! it really cute. it's a bob that sits on my shoulders and flips out with really nice highlights and a coffee colored brown for most of it, I style it later and load a picture.
I'm still working on getting motivated to get a private massage and esthetics clientele, it just takes time and thought. Well Maybe I'll go get cracking on that! Love yall!

DONTCHA KNOW!

I am in MINNESOTA! Quite fun actually. and it was really nice to get away from all the drama of my eviction. Yup lame lame lame I had to move out of my super cute house that I just gone done painting and decorating and all that crap. I had to move because the loser that I was subleting from wasn't paying the rent to the land lords. ASSHOLE! sorry for the emphasis! but I got lucky and I moved into a new place two days before I came on vacation but at least my stuff is somewhere and safe. I was really stressed out and weepy for a while but Bopper was really helpful and suportive and I couldn't have done it with out him and all of our friends that helped out. Trucks and storage and lifting of furnature. I was such a mess. But I am going to try and get my deposit back amlicably from the loser and if not I'm going to small claims court and getting ALL my money back! so for his sake he'd better just give me the $800 or I'll be asking for the full $2200 he stole! I'm being nice to this dick! I can't believe it! Any who. like I said it's nice to be away to regroup and refocus on school. I wasn't all there last week but I only have 6 weeks left after I get home!
I'll be right back!

I'm gonna be better at Bloging!

I know I know I'm terrible. I never write anything. I think that I talk about all my issues so much with so many friend here that I get it all out before I come and vent on my blog. I guess I feel like that is what a blog is. Venting space. Whether it's great news or bad someones got something fun to tell and they haven't told enough people or anyone at all. I just avoid the computer because I get sucked into typing any clicking around for HOURS! And I just don't have that time to kill sometimes!
Especially since I am in School! I don't know if you all know but I am becoming an esthetician! I go to a school called Makana Academy. www.makanaacademy.com . Check it out! But I am having so much fun. I am learning facials, waxing, make-up, medical esthetics (chemical peels and microdermabrasion) stuff like that. But it's the best program. Only being 15 weeks it's just like a mini skirt. Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to keep you interested! haha. Only I am into this one for life! With my massage license I think with a couple years experience I'll be set to go on opening my own spa. I have tonz of friends that want to do it here, but I can't quite settle on it just yet. I have a few things I have to do before I can feel content standing still. but it'll come one day. I am still pationate about music for all those wondering I'm just being 22 and killing time till the judges will respect me. I have how they bash on the youngins but they are right, when your 21 and not commited to anything yet, you may just need some time! So maybe this summer I can sneak away to an American Idol Audition. they're coming up. But I do have my Survivor Application all filled out too. I just need to make a video. Well, E Ho Mai Na Kapuna O' Hawai'i Aloha Eh!
Bri~

Bad News!

I have some yucky news! So with the rising cost of gas as we all know sucks! I don't think I am going to make it home in May. Which I am so upset about. Plus being out of work from my stupid arm sprain I can't make as much money right now. . The tickets are seriously over eight hundred dollars! And Bopper and I can't afford that. What we may do is in August for our second Anniversary were already planning a trip to Las Vegas with some friends that have this time share deal and maybe we can drive to Arizona afterwards and visit then. I know this sucks for everyone that was itchin' to meet Bops but I promise we will get there. For now I'm just so stoked on my house. I think I want to do interiour design at some point in my life . O kay so here is a spur of the moment life plan.

Finish playing in Hawaii maybe another year or two,
Move to somewhere where Bopper can get a better chef job hopefully CALIFORNIA,
mostly because I never want to not be able to surf everyday if I want to,
He'll probably go to culinary school there and I want to go to design school and I want to get a singing agent at the same time, Sing to make money while I'm in school.
Then After I become a celebrity I make millions of dollars and pay for Bopper to open his own Retaurant that I will Also manage and work at because I want to go to culinary school too. And I will also use my money to buy old houses and fix them and decorate and design and Sell And that is When I will make my real investment money and Bopper and I can travel with our kids all over the world and Learn about culture and Adventure!

Okay that sounds so crazy but so many thoughts entered my mind all at the same time I was flabergasted!
Well I am going to go by lunch and then go see a movie!

SOME STUFF

This is half of my backyard
Th computer corner
The front of the house
My sprained wristWaimea bay

My new room

My bathroom

The other side

My Living room painted Log Cabin (brown) Kitchen in Cranberry

The old Living room

Old bedroom
Old Bathroom
The other side

So I moved into a new place that I am very excited about. I have worked very hard to make it nice and my own space! I love it. Bopper and I put some hard work in But I definately did more. I stayed up all night painting and Got the whole thing pretty much done. I did my own head board shabby chic, and I organized everything. luckily I had a little accident at the company party last Thursday and sprained my wrist, got some much needed time off and some time to work on my place. I do miss work though, I went to a meeting yesterday and stayed like two hours longer just because I missed being there. I really love my job. So I can't wait for the sprain to heal. Oh I can't describe how glad I am to not have roommates! I've had over thrity roommates since High School maybe more, so I think I put in my time. I think I am the hard one to live with. Sorry Alecia and Brit for that crappy summer, :( . Oh and I got my taxes back I got like $800 back I was happy with that. I was going to have to pay that amount when I went to H& R Block. They suck. Janelly, I loved the Office Bopper and I are huge fans, I do miss 24 Right now thoug. AI was really good too. I finally got cable again so I am back in the loop. But I need to go I have some errand and a bunch of bills to pay!

Just like the others,

Just like all previous New Year Resolutions! I have slacked. I am so sorry Janel I know you Are busy so blogging is a great way to keep track. I just get lazy. I have been watching Survivor Seasons and I get brainwashed. I don't have TV right now so I don't see all the cool shows. But I am getting it soon. I have to watch The Office when it starts airing. But What blessing am I suposed to be on right now? I think Like #41 So I have Six to do!
1.(46)Education
2.(45)Passion For my Job
3.(44)Being an American
4.(43)Ability to Relax
5.(42)Love of Learning
6.(41)Flexible Personality
Okay so those All add up to...
I am so glad that I have my job and I had the motivation to take the bus everyday to downtown Oahu from the North Shore,(alecia and brittany know it can suck), But I was able to study and get things done. I am definately a planner but I don't get High strung like some people so I know to take a deep breath and say a little prayer and my day will turn around. It's really a blessing to be able to do this. Plus I deal with all sorts of people, as we all do, We all have different views on the world and opinions of how things should be done but I listen to all my friends and collegues and we are adults. And I am so greatful I am an American, Even though I hate the conspiracies of our leaders and The greed that runs The Powerhouse Called Washington D.C. I am still great ful to be in this country. All the illegals that are in fear everyday and Even those with legal visas and green cards still hold fear in the back of their mind that they may be deported or "caught" or told on by a hater. I am just thankful for that abscense of fear.
I' m not sure if that all made sense but whatever. I tried. And now I am "caught up" six weeks late but current. haha.

So I colored my hair. I wanted some red in it to make it stand out, and oh boy is it! Big 'ol rED/Pink/maroon streaks. But I like it after a couple of days. I thought I would get in trouble at work today but my boss just told me that she liked it and gave me a really nice present. She said I work really hard and I deserved it. She got me this cool Eminence thing. It's a tube of seven different products. Which is so awesome. If she's trying to make me like her it's totally working. Even though I already liked her. But now, I know this is a little disturbing, I think she likes me. She is a lesbian! eeeew. But she's married so she shouldn't be flirting like this! haha J/K I really hope shes not. But she keep doing nice things for me and she gave me a really good personal review and I don't know whats going on. I'll just say that she is really nice and Appreciates all that I do at my job.

I am also looking into a new place to live. I think it may happen soon But I have to wait on several other people to do their thing before it gets around to me.
Bopper and I can't wait to come home for a visit! He's going to go to PA for ten days and then come to Az for like 5 It's going to be awesome! I hope everyone in the family does a really nice job of welcoming him and making him feel appreciated, Like we have all done for everyone else. I don't want any negative energy puking on this very special moment for us. We are both nervous and excited as it is so I trust everyone to treat us with the same repect we've all been treated, Except for Kristy. She was fake and kinda put it on herself. But I don't like the way we have talked about her behind her back since the day she became Jasons girlfriend. I truly believe that things could have been different for them if we could have exercised our ability to use the law or attraction. aka"the secret". So once again I know everyone will be kind and loving toward bopper. I love him and I know that you all love me and will see what a great man he is and how imoprtant he is to me. So ahead of time, THANKS! Okay now I am going to take a nap because I did five Easter Day Massages, and I didn't get to go to church and I wanted to and I'm a little cranky about that.
I hipe you all had a lovely day!
Happy Easter

fourty-seven/ v-day

My number fourty seven blessing of the year is my superficial things. I'm really greatful to have the things i need to keep me entertained and comfortable. I don;t know if I should really use that as a blessing but I'm gonna.

One thing I am very ungrateful for right now is my cold! I feel terrible and I want to cry every time I cough. It sucks. But oh well. I feel bad Valentines is tomorrow, I hope I feel better. I have to work a double shift too. lame. But it's alright cause Bopper works anyways. So at least I'll be at work with him.

Sometimes I really don't like 'ol V-day. I feel obligated to get a great gift but I really just don' t have the money so I feel like I'm not doing enough. but Bops knows I love him so what ever cupid I'm not spending any money on you this year.

LATE #48

#48 , So I'm a little late,
but my number 48 blessing is going to be Hawaii. I have learned so much out here, and it really has been a blessing to me. But unfortunately it is very far from home and I really wish everyone would just move out here and be with me. Any ways I am not in the biggest writting mood so I am gonna have to keep this one short.

Brittany W. if you wish to contact me with your blogger access info. write to my new e-mail. http://brianna_derusha808@hotmail.com

count your blessings

So I am so excited! My #49 blessing is that Bopper is so understanding and sweet. And not just that he is so in live with me! We are going to go to church together tomorrow morning! He's getting his clothes ready now and I am so wow excited!!! Pray for me Janel! But that is definately my blessing for today!

I went out to dinner tonight with a couple of friends from work and it was so nice to sit and talk to some new friends and to hear some funny stories! And I learned that I am not as wierd as I thought I was. I don't have that many close friends anymore so I don't get to hear a lot of similar situations to my own when it comes to dating and my life out here in Hawaii is hard to compare to old friends and others. So it was nice to know that Iam in the same boat with a lot of people.
Anywho, I need some sleep!
Aloha

My 52 Blessings

So I totally love that idea of a blessing per week for the whole year. Cause today I actually journaled an entry today to myself. Just giving a shout out to me for me. A very positive thing to do I might add. SItting down a writing to yourself about how much you love yourself and reminding yourself of who you are and of all of your qualities really makes you feel more positive.

So my number #52 blessing is going to be my love for journaling. I am very fortunate to enjoy this. Some people don't and it is kind of sad. I will always have a small door to open and look back and reflect on different times in my life because I write quite a bit of my life down.

And since it is already the 20th of January, we are two weeks behind on our 52 weeks.

#51 My job. I worked very hard to get to where I am. And there is still so much to be accomplished. When I moved to Hawaii I had this dream of being a bum and working as who knows! But I am blessed that I got the courage and the determination to get on the stupid bus every morning and take a two hour comute to school. And the to take it back and go straight to work as a busser in a restraunt for Seven months! Until I became a waitress for the last three months. (Which is when I met Bops!) The Job I have now is the one I said to myself when I started school, and my busser job, Brianna! I want to get my massage therapy liscence and transfer to the spa and Turtle Bay Resort! And look at me Two years and like three months later! Go Job!

#50 My health. Obviously my blessings are in no specific order, cause this would be close to the top, But I have been so blessed, to always have good health. Besides a cold every winter and a few strep throghts and a few little sufing accidents, I have been so lucky to not have any serious health obsticles or injuries in my life. But I am sure that if I did, knock on wood, I would be able to over come the obsticles and still be who I am.

So there are my first three, instalments. I can't wait to really take a look at all of my blessings throughout the year, and see how life will change and grow!

Thanks Janel!