I know this may sound hum-buggish but sometimes I don't get excited anymore! It makes me sad. I miss getting on top of the bookshelf with my mom and taking down the previous decorations wiping them down and arranging the new ones! man she had thousands of them. Looking back at all of the stuff I did no matter I feel like all of my childhood and young teen years flew by! I was a busy girl. I sit alone sometimes after work or on my day off and I don't have that many friends any more and I get so confused by time. How much there seems to be but it goes by so fast and I really wish that I knew how to enjoy it better sometimes. All I seem to worry about these days is money and bills. I am so excited to come home this holiday season to get a taste of the cold and a real bite in the armpit with it when I go back east to meet my boyfriends family. I want to smell the cold and the seasons and I wish I could have smelt october. You have no clue until you don't have it. The smell that is. And all the cute families around me make me miss my cute cute neices and nefews and I hate that I hardly know my brothers baby boy and I won't see the new one until may. so he'll be four months. Well I know that one day I will have my own and I will be closer to everyone and things will be wonderful. I can't wait to come home!!!!!! I get to see one of my best friends babies too! Alecia Adamson had Parker about two months ago and I will get to see him. So stoked!
I saw an old friend today. And it was not all that seeing old friends is supposed to be like. Claire. I met her when I came out in the summer for vacation and we were best friends. We surfed everyday and we met our boyfriends and everything was fun. But because of that friend ship I sort of hurt some other friends and a lot of things happened and changed in my life because of how influensed I was by her. You know your always taught to have good friends. And it doesn't mean that you will always find good friends in good places. You may find bad friends iin good places that seem to have the same life as you and they will be be there for you and really this particular friend turned out to turn me for a while to the wrong person. And i moved back to hawaii to be with her and she abandoned me. so sad. I thought she wanted me to come back so we could pick up where we left off but she ended up kicking me out and I was literally on the beach for a night! no one has ever known this! so don't tell! But I was taken in by some great people and they really helped me out. I was to commited to living on my own away from home that I couldn't go home so I stuck it out and now look at me! I have a great job I put myself through school I visit home and pay for my own vacations and I bought a brand new car and I pay rent and I sometimes look back and I'm thankful to her for ditching me. So when I saw her today I didn't have any of the old hatful feelings. I just felt nothing but memories of her. I have no interest in haging out with her but I would like to say out loud Thank you Claire! You suck!
But anyways back to the holidays. One day I am going to have all the decorations that sit all year long and then I bust 'em out and decorate like crazy in my beautiful home some where. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!
1 comment:
Thats why they say Christmas is for children....and I have to admit it has been years since I've felt that tingly-leg, butterfies excitement over Christmas for ME,(not that I havent had some fun times) but I sure have had that jittery can't wait feeling over stuff that I knew the kids were going to open and how freakin happy and surprised they were going to be. My first impression when contemplating the holidays now is how much stinkin WORK it is just to pull it off, and how much it COSTS! I've been stressin for over a month already! LOL But it is so worth it when they are shouting with excitement, and so wrapped up in it all.
For us adults the holidays are more of a time to enjoy being with family, it sounds cheesy but it is so true. We all can't wait to see you!!!!
I don't think I knew that about Claire...ya, she sucks!!!!! :D But you have become so amazingly independent, You just had to learn to swim through life the "Stennis" way (name the movie??)
Post a Comment